


Lay me by your side

by Ambros



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I guess it's kind of a reaction fic, M/M, Post 3x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 00:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambros/pseuds/Ambros
Summary: But Alec only has one breath.So that's what he settles for.You've already saved me a long time ago.





	Lay me by your side

**Author's Note:**

> Loooook, I wrote a thing!  
> It's been so long I can't even write in English anymore, good grief. Please forgive me any mistakes and feel free to yell at me because I'm pretty sure I messed up most of the verb tenses.  
> As usual, comments and kudos are very much appreciated, I hope you enjoy this even though I'm soooo late at writing it.   
> You can find me on Tumblr at sometimesambroswrites!

He's cold.

Everything feels cold. The clothes wrapped around his collapsed body, his own arrow piercing his lung, making it harder and harder to breathe, the soft rain that's falling around him, gently hitting his skin like it's just washing away everything that's happened.

There are worse ways to die, and he's cold but that's not important, that's not what he wants to say.

He wants to beg the Angel for one more breath because he can't find his way back to his own lips. He's cold, he's afraid he might not be able to move them. Maybe he's freezing to death and the arrow in his chest is just letting the cold in.

He knows it's Magnus' hand that's shaking as it covers his own, both uselessly trying to fight the blood gushing from his wound – he knows because his hand wouldn't shake with Magnus there. Magnus is there and everything is alright. He's told Jace what he needed to and there's one thing, just one more thing he needs to say. He begs the Angel and his failing lung for one more breath.

He doesn't know if he gets it. He's so cold.

He tries anyway.

_It's okay._

_I love you._

_It's okay._

_You've already saved me a long time ago._

*

Alec has never believed in people saving other people, people fixing other people.

He knows you have to do it yourself. You have to find every cut and every broken bone and heal it.

But – but there is something to be said for the worlds people pour into each other when they meet. Galaxies and waves of stories and hopes and hurt and feelings and _life_ , so much life that sometimes it just washes away everything that hurts in your own world.

It had been like that, with Magnus. Alec had been so tired when they'd met. He had been so close to becoming the perfect soldier. He had been fighting so hard to adjust his soul to the sharp bones he'd built his life upon.

And then Magnus had come along, and he'd made Alec want to fight back. For everything. For his bruised soul, for his blood stained hands. For Magnus' vibrant life, for his unimaginable love.

But Alec only has one breath.

So that's what he settles for.

_You've already saved me a long time ago._

*

He comes to slowly.

He feels heavy and lost, like his body doesn't properly belong to him and he can't quite feel the edges of it. He doesn't know where he is but it feels wrong, like he knows he's not where he's supposed to be.

Hushed whispers.

It burns.

It burns in his veins and it's life in the way that it's so strikingly different to the cold he'd sunk into – how long ago?

It burns in his chest with every heartbeat, but it's okay, it's okay, he can follow the burning in his blood and trace the edges of his body.

“Alec? Alexander, can you hear me?”

The light fills his eyes violently and he doesn't need to know where his body ends to follow that voice, it's life reaching for life.

“Always,” he says. He tries. The sound hurts his throat, it doesn't quite wrap around the word.

The next breath he takes is full of Magnus, he can suddenly wrap his arms around him, even if it hurts terribly somewhere close to his heart and his left arm feels heavier than it should and his right wrist still feels out of place, he holds him tight, buries his lips in his neck and now he can find his own body, now that it's pressed against Magnus'.

_How are you, are you okay, I'm fine_ , and it's true for neither of them, it still hurts, so much, in so many different ways, it feels like it will never stop.

But Alec can take a breath now. He gets to say _I love you_ and he can make sure that Magnus hears it, he whispers it against his skin, again and again, until he runs out of oxygen, he gets to lay in Magnus' arms and feel his lips on his temple, his cheekbone, he gets to hear him say _I love you too_.

For now, that's everything.


End file.
